Some of you have read this reflection before, while to others it may be new. To me, it was an epiphany past that still shapes my understanding of Christ's passion and of the truth that faith is truest that holds when pain is most and hope seems least.

"[We] often hit Good Friday and reflect upon Christ’s death but it’s always with the rose colored glasses shouting, “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.” The truth is I knew that, as did the disciples who Christ told that they would see Him again. The difference is the experience. The disciples weren’t saying it’s hard today but He’ll be alive again on Sunday. Although Christ had told them that they would see Him again and he had explained that he would be raised to live on the third day; He had also mentioned that He was going to prepare a place for them in His father’s house. They knew he was the son of God, so his father’s house meant heaven. They may have thought that they wouldn’t see Christ again until heaven. Even if they knew that they would physically see Him again on Earth, they were mourning. Their Lord and friend was dead. Some had denied Him in His final hours. Others stayed and watched Him stand in the face of false accusations, face insults and lies, suffer torture, and finally, agonizingly die.

John specifically came to mind. I identified with him as He stood at the cross caring for Mary. I felt the strength that John must have needed to care for Mary and to watch his friend die; a strength that doesn’t come from yourself, but rather can only come as love flowing through you despite yourself. I imagined John’s heart and eyes flooding with grief. I pictured him slowly walking with the aged Mary, helping to guide her footsteps down the hill at Golgotha, lending his shoulder while she cried, and wondering to himself to whom would he turn as she and others turned to him. I could almost hear him asking, “Why now? I miss Him already. Who will teach us? Who will teach me? What will I do without Him?”

To think about the passion of Christ in death is humbling. To consider His death was the only sacrifice for erasing sin, overwhelming. To think that He died for me is truly and heartbreakingly awesome. Still, this is only thinking. This is not watching, wondering if you had been a better person would he have lived; if you hadn’t denied Him would He not have been killed; if you had spoken would the lies have been disproved. It is not watching someone you have learned to love, cherish, and hold above all else, perish. For while we each came to know an already risen Christ, the disciples knew and loved a living, human Christ who died and then rose. They loved the man before they loved His deity. We can reflect upon Christ suffering and how sad it may have been, but we cannot know the pain of losing a Lord, brother, son, confidant, teacher, and friend all at once. We’ll never lose Christ, whereas they did for two days.

The Jewish literary tradition explains eternal suffering as dictated by the distance you are from God for eternity. In other words, the disciples experienced hell, in the truest sense for two days as they were completely separated, physically and spiritually, from Christ, something that we never have to experience unless for some reason we choose it. In the midst of celebrating the angel of death passing over their ancestors, the disciples faced God himself dying before them.

We don’t like to talk about [that] pain or about God’s justice; rather, we like to focus on the hope and love that comes from Christ...[I]t it is too easy to look to Sunday on Friday without appreciating the torment in between; and, that without [that] suffering and justice, hope and mercy are meaningless...[T]he disciples had lost Christ for a while. The hope I seek, they did not yet have available. And that makes Easter morning, the stone rolling away, all the more precious to me."

They gave me a bath. They really did it. I'm so embarrassed.

Freyja has decided that with all the time her master spends online that she should pick up her own computer skills; so, she's started her own BLOG. You'll see her posts along with mine in the main BLOG feed or you can click on the Blogs link on the site navigation menu at the left and then choose either this one, Chivalric Dreams, or Freyja's, Paws and Purrs.

And yes, Greg and I are very scared as to what out little cat is going to tell...

I could describe what a purrrfect package Mr Paul and Misses Lanie sent me, but why waste the time that I could better use to torment Greg and Kendi by jumping on their TV! Instead, here are their own words...

Thank you sooo much for the yummy treats and everything else. Bootsie and Spooksie must be crazy not to like those delicious treats, but I guess that's what comes of getting old.

I've decided to highjack the computer once more to let you all know what Greg and Kendi are putting me through this weekend. It's been a full weekend thus far when I was hoping for just some extra play and cuddle time.

First, Friday evening they decided to take their usual evening walk, and this time took me along. They've done this to me before, but they were threatening to eat out with me on a leash...so embarrassing. Well the restaurants didn't have patio seating out yet, so we just walked around the corner and then back home, but do you know how many smells and noises there are even going just around the corner. Cars everywhere, they're so big and noisy and make me tremble every time one speeds by too close. And dogs, dogs of every shape, size, and smell- I mean, ewww, they're sooo dirty, don't they know how to use their tongues to take a bath. Oh well, at least they understand that their humans should be cleaning up their poop, we cats figured that one out a long time ago. I digress, on the way back home from my forced walk, Greg put me down on some mulch with some lovely trimmed bush twigs to brush against. It was then I heard them and saw one of those evil tempters fly by me. Birds. They've been teasing me for the past two weeks with their twittering and perching right outside the bedroom window. And there they were, flying over my head and sitting in a tree above Greg and Kendi, taunting me with their little squeaky twittering about nonsensical issues. Greg soon picked me up but it was too late, those evil birds were mocking my leash. I didn't hear it, but I know that they were. Not about to stand for that I jumped out of Greg's arms before we could get to the stairs going home and waited. I didn't need to go anywhere, I just needed to be down to smell for tracks and to listen to what those crazy birds were saying. The birds got quieter and I couldn't understand them, but I was going to wait until I could get my paws on one of those evil little feather balls and then Greg picked me up and carried me back home. But those birds, they don't know how lucky they are...

After Greg and Kendi got home from dinner on Friday evening, we played and watched a movie, and went to sleep. It was a good night. But Saturday they decided to upset my routine again. They did their normal wake up run errands thing and as usual brought home several plastic bags for me to play in. But then after making some phone calls, they put me in my carrier and took me outside again. This time we took a car ride, not my favorite thing to do, but it was warm and sunny out and I decided to give them peace, only speaking up once when I thought they weren't talking to me nearly enough. It wasn't a long trip, but then they stopped that car, and got out of it and left me alone. I know that they weren't gone long, but I had a cool breeze from open windows and so I curled up in the back of my carrier and took a nap. The sun was a little warm but the dark of the carrier and the warmth...well, you would have fallen asleep too. Soon Kendi woke me up by taking me out of my carrier and trying to put my harness and leash on again. It wouldn't have been so bad except for the dog walking by at that moment and sniffing bushes near our car. I wasn't about to go easily into the dark night of leash control with a dog watching, so I made sure that it took both of them to get my harness on this time. Then we were walking between a bunch of those noisy, smelly cars, so I glued myself to Greg's shoulder and we entered a weird building. Greg and Kendi called it a pet store. We walked past a bunch of people in awe of my adorableness and commenting on my leash. We saw some other cats in cages, I didn't like that idea and was glad I'm usually free to run. Two of the cats were my size but several months younger than I am, and one was my age but twice my size. Then we walked to a row of shelves with stinky cleaning stuff on them. Greg and I watched weak willed puppies being broken by their masters while Kendi looked at the shelf stuff. A nice lady petted my head and called me cute. Then this random guy came over to talk to me, and to tell Greg and Kendi about how cute I am, and how well behaved I am in public, and how pretty my face is, and how beautiful and soft my coat is, and well, you get the point. It's good to have someone recognize my beauty. They all talked for a while so I decide to jump down onto the cool floor and look around, including under those tall shelves. I didn't have time to find anything before Greg picked me up again and we moved on. They picked out some treats for me and then Greg showed me the birds...I think that he called them parakeets. I loved watching the birds with them behind the glass for once. Oh how they would make their tiny little flights, and I watched, chasing them with my paws and teasing them like they tease me everyday. PRRrrrrrr was it fun! Finally we went to see the mousies. This was the best part yet. They had so many toys, I just couldn't help but reach for them. I jumped down and climbed up on the bottom shelf to investigate all the fuzzies, and mousies, and balls, and, and fuzzies. Greg and Kendi picked out two new mousies for me and then we left, but not before I got to bat at two fuzzies on sticks. So exciting! And then we left. Greg put me on this moving table thing with my mousies and treats, we talked to a nice lady who petted me and called me cute once again, and then we went back to the car. Kendi put me back in my carrier while Greg got one of my mousies out. They gave me some treats and a mousie and then the car started moving again. I didn't eat the treats or play with mousie until we got home because I decided to curl up in the back of my carrier with the cool air blowing on me and go to sleep. Greg and Kendi decided that we needed to take the long way home from the car, stopping to pull some envelopes and papers out of a small box, and then we got home where I was free again. I jumped out of my carrier, ate the treats that they had gotten for me, and of course, played with mousie. I love my mousie.

So there's what they've been putting me through. At least I a got a new mousie. Now if only I can get people to quick thinking that I'm still a kitten...